Abroad in the Real World post 1/?

Hello friends and family,

How are you??? I decided that it was time to revive this blog in hopes of sufficiently updating everyone that has been so supportive of me thus far with news that they deserve. Also, I was talking to my Aunt Heather the other night and she mentioned this blog and i told her i had actually been considering starting it up again, and she was like "YES YES YES!" Sooooo here we go. Where to begin.

Well... I graduated for one.

CHAPTER 1: GRADUATION



But i'm getting ahead of myself (i'm also going back a while now, so forgive me if i leave out important details). The night before everyone in my house and I threw a giant "Family Dinner" for all of our family members to meet and greet each other. Here is a picture of all of the kids (my friend Caitlin's mom gave us red beret as graduation presents):

(L to R: Allison, Jel, Erin, Caitlin, Megan, Sarah Li, Me Matt)

Impostors (a whole lot of proud family):




I by far had the most family at the dinner!



(me, my dad, my girlfriend Leah)

After people left the night was dedicated to breaking down the little home we had all spent the year creating. It was an emotional night...



i have to say, the next day was basically a blur... and not because we started out the morning with a champagne toast:

Pre grad hug


(L to R:) Matt, Allison, Caitlin, Erin, Sarah Li




You know, it's scary being an A name... but at least i was 2nd and not 1st AND got a fantastic seat:


President Karen Lawrence Speaks


Our commencement speaker Jessica Lang gave a fantastic speech about being here now and taking advantage of unlikely situations and offers. Later Fox News ripped it apart.
See a link about about it here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/24/jessica-lange-condemns-ir_n_103435.html


While graduation itself was a blur, the reception afterwards was a chaotic blur. So many family members, so many farewells, so many teachers around. I had no idea what to do. I didn't even say proper goodbyes to most people simply because i didn't know where to begin. Leah's aunt described everyone as zombies because we were all so scatter brained and probably temporarily legally insane. I just kept eating the mini guacamoles.



One of my favorite and most admired teachers, Julie Abraham




CHAPTER 2: BEACH WEEK
After graduation I drove with Leah to Delaware to attend BEACH WEEK '08 with a bunch of my closest friends. We spent a week laying around, eating group dinners, which we all took turn preparing, enjoying the sun, and trying to process all the events of the previous few weeks.





I must say, it was definitely nice to have a little breather before jumping into real life post grad, and also to have a little more time with everyone before we all went our separate was... or so we thought (See Chapter 4).

CHAPTER 3: SUMMER IN CHICAGO
I spent this summer living in Oak Park with Leah in my dad's apartment while he was in Italy and worked for my fourth year at Columbia College's Summer Arts camp:

Picture taken on our trip to the Botanical Gardens

I celebrated Gay Pride 08 with Leah, Matt and Graham. Graham went to my high school. Matt was my first friend at SLC. They are boyfriends. And they are proof that we live in a smalllll world.


Oh and we also celebrated the 4th of July... the theme was "Happy Fourth of July From..." I went at Happy Fourth Of July From The Produce Section


-- all the while i tried to figure out WHERE i was supposed to go come August. I had three options 1) Stay in Chicago 2) go back to Australia 3) Move back to NY


CHAPTER 4: MY MOVE BACK TO NY
Leah and I moved to (and are currently living in) an apartment in brooklyn. There are two levels and both have REALLY HIGH CEILINGS. The upstairs has a kitchen:


(picture taken from a "Pink Sailors" themed birthday party we through for Jel and Caitlin

There is also a little mini living room, couch and chairs area and another little corner where there used to be a kitchen table, but which is currently bookshelves (it's going through a transitional period)


We live in the basement and have painted 3 of the four walls:

The four walls are the colors of candy corn - one is yellow, on is orange, and one is this really nice brown... oh and one is still white

Unfortunately it seems as though my internet is acting wacky so i'll have to hold off on more pictures until later and cut straight to a current update on life. We'll do categories.

FRIENDS: I live about 6 blocks from some of my closest friends from Sarah Lawrence. We have A LOT of group dinners. One particularly memorable one was very very autumnal. We had sweet potatoes, baked apples with fake sausage in them, squash soup, salad, cider, pumpkin beer, and apple pie. needless to say it was a-maz-ing. It so so wonderful having them so close, and it's also really funny because when we graduated we were like "OH NO! We're never going to seeee each other again!" This was especially true when I strongly believed I was never going to live in NY again. Alas, i'm back and so are most of them! A couple weeks ago it really sunk in when a friend of our passed away and we all went back to Sarah Lawrence to go to his memorial service. Obviously there were a lot of feelings being experience dealing with mortality, sadness, and shock... but then also a whole other group of feelings stirred at being back on campus. Such an emotionally complicated night. It was good to be back though, and I'm very glad I was able to go to the service. It was a Quaker service, and was very very nice.

WORK: It's so interesting to be going through this period of life at this time in history... aka entering the real world and trying to find a job during the second depression in American history. It's definitely not an easy process. Even prior to arriving in NY i was sending out my resume and cover letters like crazy. Finally I got an e-mail back from what i thought was a promising job lead. The position was an archival researcher and after a phone interview they invited me to come in for an in person interview the day after i arrived in NY. I was PUMPED! Well I arrived (after no sleep) and the next day jumped on the really intimidating subway and went to the job interview. It went very very well. Helen Whitney (the company's owner) went to Sarah Lawrence... the girl that was interviewing me studied gender and women's studies and her mom went to SLC. By the end of the interview we were laughing and she offered me the job!!!... only to mention a couple seconds later that I "did know it's unpaid... right?" ....uh... right. damn.

I debated for a week or so taking the job anyway in order to boost my resume, but in the end decided i wasn't in the financial position to take it. Then i got another interview with Open Outcry Productions to be an assistant editor... at $50/8hrs....... i took it and spent the next month working 6pm-10pm or midnight tuesday through thursday and Saturdays noon till 8pm. Then i got another call back from a Cynthia Wade Productions, an Academy Award Winning documentary production company, and played phone tag with them. They said they were a women owned production run by 3 women and they were looking for an intern for $25/Day.... with a chance for more money later. I took this job too and worked Tuesdays and Thursdays 9am-5pm.... giving me two 16 hour work days a week (Tues and Thurs). One day I was so beat i took a cab home from work... it cost me $31... the exact amount I'd spent the whole day making. I was displeased to say the relief.

Currently I'm working freelance for Cynthia Wade Productions at $12/hr. It's kind of scary because it's less consistent and therefore less stable... but it is a step up. I'm doing a lot of transcribing, and i really like the people I live with. I also feel like i'm starting to understand better how to exist in a professional work environment... aka i'm understanding the progression in work relationships. It's interesting.

Anyway, I'm also looking for another job. I've sent my resume out to a couple more production companies and I also just had an interview at Reebok Gym, Manhattan's biggest gym where I would be working with kids, which would be fun... and after 3 months of full time work they offer benefits!... which is great because my health insurance just went from costint $416 to $690 per month. so awesome! Thanks so much Bush. Speaking of which,

POLITICS- OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! Election night was so amazing. I went to Leah's friend's place for a little gathering and when it was announced that he won world outside went nuts. We were all screaming and then hushed up and muted the TV and could hear the screaming from the streets. Cabbies were leaning on their horns, people on garbage trucks were shouting and waving, people were dancing in the streets. It was incredible!

So so sad about Prop 8 though. It's amazing how people can possibly take people's rights away. I'll never understand.

HOME: A little more info on my house. As i said, it's 2 levels, connected with a spiral staircase with really really really high ceilings. Most of the furniture we have was found on the street (carpet, couch, rug). Our bed and mattress though were bought from one of our housemate's friends for real cheap. don't worry. Unfortunately the bed is from ikea and must be missing a piece... because it caves in every other day.  So awesome.  It was actually fantastic... one particular day i was trying to fix the bed (nailing pieces of wood into the base so that it wouldn't break anymore... which didn't help) the dresser i got off the street completely fell apart and the floor was just covered in random wood pieces.  POST GRAD LIFE RULES!

Anyway, I am pretty happy where I am. I'm hoping to some day be able to live in a room that has good light... but I'm living with pretty cool people and two VERY VERY cute cats, and i as i said i can't complain about the distance I am from close friends. Oh and the train and bus stops are only 2 blocks away! So handy!

EXCITING NEWS: One of my best friends from Australia, Katie, is coming to visit me for two weeks (December 19 through January 9th) and i cannot even tell you how excited I am to see her!!!!


I think that's basically the end of my update. It's a complicated time in life for a whole lot of reasons and i recognize that. I am happy though. And i am trying. And all I can do is hope for the best and keep my chin up.


Thank you very much for reading. I hope this helps to give you a little bit of an idea of what's going on in my life right now. Let me know if i forgot anything!

I love you all very very very much and hope you're all doing well!!!!!!

catchin' up on my goin's ons

wellll.... I uni is officially over. i officially only have about three weeks until i have to move out of my house and onto my friends' couches. and i offically have less than two months left. so so scary/sad/crazy. I'm not in the least bit ready to go home, i really do love the life i have created for myself here - and the thought of saying goodbye breaks my heart.

Here are two pictures of me and my four best friends.. my four rocks.. the four people here i couldn't function without. They were both taken at Mahalia's 21st birthdya party:

(Left to Right: Bel, Katie [/Tools], me, Chloe [standing in the back], and Mahalia)




I have been spending a lot of time lately reflecting on my time here, and both the way i have existed within the space around me, as well as the way i have changed over the past year. In the process i ended up typing out a really really long rant about my current head space and my thoughts on leaving. I wasn't going to post it in here... but i guess i will. I realize that i have posted millions of pictures, and typed out quite a few stories... but i dont know if i have ever actually articulated my feelings in relation to this new world i have found myself exisiting within. So, i am going to post the rant here. Again, it's just a ramble stream-of-consciousness -- but i owe it some of you. Especially those of you that have helped make me coming here possible. so here we go... a long winded rant:



I've been feeling quite scattered lately. I think it's because my brain is trying to be in too many places at once, and absorb too many things at once. it's starting to dawn on me that i have literally under two months left. I mean, let's not get ahead of ourselves. the actual physical process of packing up, going to the airport, and the specific moment where I have to turn away from my group of friends, and walk into security in order to fly 36 hours.... has not yet become a concrete reality.... but the fact that i'm officially on the clock is in fact very very real.


Leaving is something that’s on my mind as of late, and it’s definitely one of my largest fears right now. It just doesn’t seem real. How could this world… this life… that I have created for myself, how could it possibly only be temporary? I mean, (hopefully hopefully hopefully hopefully) the friendships will hold on, but just the fact that I wont exist in this space seems completely and totally ridiculous. This is my home. It’s taken ages for me to get my feet on the ground, and finally I feel like I understand where I fit in. I’m not just a floater, I have developed relationships that have changed me, and that I cannot imagine having not had earlier in my life. I have met people that I have not only learned a ridiculous amount from, but who I honestly and truly care about and love… who I feel protective of, and who i want to continue to explore my relationships with. I feel like I’m being cheated of time with them. I mean, you know when you look back at pictures and you remember how you related to someone at a particular moment in time? And as you think about that relationship, you realize how much you have grown and come to understand each other in a stronger and more honest way? Well that’s how I feel when I look at my pictures from here. I know that there is still so much of a future between me and the people I know here, and I hate HATE HATE that I’m not going to be able to explore that in the way I want to… at least for a while… at least unless I’m able to find a way to get back here… or they travel or something.

I’ve never really experienced this before…the feeling of literally having no idea when I’m going to see someone again. It’s so so so terrifying. Usually I leave someone and I know I’ll be back the next year… or the next summer… or the next winter break… and we’ll be together again… but I just don’t know now, and I hate it. And while I have to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and that the world isn’t as big as we make it out to be, and I have so many more years a head of me, and you just never know where you’re going to end up, and we live in an age of e-mail and facebook and myspace and messangers and text messages……… but even so, that’s obviously not the same as physically being with someone. Physically sharing experiences.

And it’s also hard because I miss people back home like crazy too, and I also know that there are more experiences to be had with them as well... and I don’t want to make it seem like i’m wanting one over the other. I really just want my cake and to eat it too. That’s what it comes down to. I want everyone I love to be in the same space… and yet separate.. because worlds colliding stresses and weirds me out.

Lately I’ve been finding myself taking a step back (and I’ve attempted to explain it to people but either it just doesn’t come out right… it sounds ridiculous… or it doesn’t make any sense)…. But yeah, I’ve just been finding myself taking a step back as I’m talking to someone and just suddenly realizing – I’m in Australia and I’m talking to someone I could very very very easily have never known existed. But they do exist, and I do know them, and I know details about their life that only friends know, and I am part of their life, and I always will be in some way – even if it’s just like “you remember that American girl that was here a few years back….?” – and it’s just a really amazing feeling that apparently cannot be articulated in words at all. It’s just a feeling of…. “Wow… life is amazing.”

I mean, when it comes down to it… Australia was never ever a place I thought I would go. It was always just that place on the other side of the world….that seemed too far away to even think about. I definitely think I only really realized that it was actually physically possible for me to come here when I was at that abroad fair and they suggested UTS. Suddenly it was like, “whoa… I could go to Australia (?!?!?!).” It had never even crossed my mind, and it was a serious –realization- --as strange as that might sound. Honestly, that fact that it WAS a –realization- is, I think, one of the reasons I chose to come here. I’m not the kind of person that has a specific location in mind that I just HAVE to go to before I die or I wont have LIVED. So, I realized that a place existed that I had never even considered going to…and it just had to happen. And it did!

So anyway, yeah… I dunno, I guess feeling such a deep connection to Sydney is kind of intense for me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this specific way towards a place before. I mean, yes CPC is a place that means a lot to me… as is SLC… as is Oak Park and Chicago… but still nothing quite compares to Sydney – and I’m sure it does have heaps to do with me basically restarting my life and building it on my own.

I guess it all comes back to an intense feeling of being ridiculously lucky:

I’m lucky I met the right people.
I’m lucky they let me into their lives.
I’m lucky they wanted to get to know me.
I’m lucky they wanted to show me aspects of their lives that they don’t show most people.
I'm lucky they placed as much trust in me as i placed in them.
I’m lucky they took the time to understand me.
I’m lucky they wanted to spend time with me at all.
I’m lucky that I felt comfortable enough with myself to put myself out there week after week.
I’m lucky that I’m strong enough to endure rejection and intense loneliness.
I’m lucky that I didn’t let my downs outweigh my ups.
I’m lucky that I allowed myself to be affect by my surroundings.
I’m lucky that I was given the opportunity to venture out of my comfort zone.
I'm lucky that i allowed myself to be always open to new experiences.
I’m lucky that I was able to figure out a way to stay for an extra month.
I’m lucky to have developed friendships that made me determined to stay.
I’m lucky for the one on one time I have experienced with so many people.
I’m lucky for the nights I have spent with large groups of amazing people all of whom I considered friends.
I’m lucky to have had a familiar face greeting me when I arrived in Sydney.
I’m lucky that I was able to share half of my experiences with Amanda.
I’m lucky to have been put on my own and therefore forced, for the first time in my life, to be somewhere on my own.
I’m lucky that I now know that people exist in the world who I connect with but who I don’t know yet, and I’m lucky to have met some of those people.
I’m lucky that I was able to create a life for myself across the world.

I’m lucky to be here at all.

But again, I’m not forgetting that I have a wonderful life back in the states with amazing people and fantastic experiences – and a part of me is absolutely looking forward to coming home and continuing that life there (I wish I could say ‘resume’ but we all know that a year has gone by and things have changed…). I’m excited for my 5 days in LA with Desiree. I’m excited about coming home and seeing my parents, Mo, Maddie, Emily Hanna, (<-- or whoever is still around), Emily Sugrue, my neighbors (Kim, jenny, matt, and the kids), and if I’m lucky the SLCers who are in Oak Park – Caitlin, Emma, and Matt. I’m excited to maybe be going to CPC for three days, or if that doesn’t happen, those 3 weeks or so before I head back to NY. I’m excited about NY too! Living with Caitlin, Matt, Jel, Erin, and Allison right nextdoor to Amanda, Jillian, rosie, and Daniell. And chill sessions with Emma and Justine. I’m determined to meet up with Justine (C.R) in the city this year. It’s going to be amazing!

But the thing is… I guess right now…for the next two months (and probably longer)… you are just going to have to put up with my intense romance with Sydney. My desire to experience and recap any and all experiences I have with Chloe, Katie, Mahalia, Bel, Maddie, Poppy, Elena, Marie, Beck, Anna, Nick, Gemma, Shorty, Anita, Karola, Joan Mariee, Emily, Emma, Megan, and many others – because I want to remember as much as I can.




alright rant = over. and now back to picture show and tell.

here are just some random pictures of some of the people mentioned above from Wed nights out:

anita and me @ the Newtown Hotel



Bel DJing at the Newtown Hotel


guess who!


Emily and me


Joan Mariee and me -- her hair was so intense that night! haha!


Katie and me


my favorite picture of bel and me


Me, anita and bel


Bel and me bein' pretty.


quiet night in with Chloe and Mahalia



So few weeks ago a friend of mine (Gemma) invited me to go on a random adventure with her. She had a car, and so we jumped into it and just started driving with no desitation in mind. Here are some picture from that experience:


Gemma at our first real stop - a nasty beach off the side of the highway.


Cookie (our partner in crime) getting dirty in the sand


Cookie getting cleaned up in a shower we came across


Gemma attempting to dry Cookie off after his shower


and then we happened across a market. at one stand they were selling two swords for two dollars:


a few blocks later we came across a REAL beach. Manly:




we drew in the sand: "Italian Bunny"

"Where is the Sunset?"


Random photo: how i felt during my final weeks of uni:


well uni ended and what happened? IT GOT RAINY! REALLY REALLY RAINY! The way Sydney has looked for almost 3 weeks straight (my roof and the view from my roof):


Broadway

That globe thing in the distance (towards the top right corner) is the top of the Broadway Shopping Center

brrrrrrrrr! so cold! so cloudy! all the time!

well even with the bad weather a certian speciall occasion still continued at usual-

PHOTOS FROM MY 21st BIRTHDAY:
a night called Cherry at Slide on Oxford Street on the night of June 10th -- Pirate themed:

Bel behind the DJ decks - she played 8:00pm - 10:00pm

Choe, mahalia and Me

me and beck

chloe and mahalia

Emma

dancing with chloe

the very first picture of me as a 21 year old.. moments after midnight:


my very first legal sip of alcohol:



Gemma, Dee, and their friend

Left to Right:Halie (in the back), Stacie, Shorty, Bel, Nic (towards the front), Chloe (in front), marie, Beck, and me


me and anna





the next day - on REAL birthday... was bowling fun!!! wiiiitttth: Tools, Chloe, Mahalia, Anita, and Maddie




Mahalia


Chloe


Anita


Maddie


Me












And then there was CAKE (home made by mahalia!!!):



gotta sign off there! going to the gym with chloe because she just finished uni! hurrah! love you all! have a fantastic day!

:-)